i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
