The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
