Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
