sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
