I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize