Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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