Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
