just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
