HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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