Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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