i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
