I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
