I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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