I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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