I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My cat gives me a boner
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
