Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
