It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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