Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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