I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
