..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
