I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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