We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
