everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
