I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
