i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Boobs are out for the taking
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
