my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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