I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You can't special order awesome
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
