There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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