she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
