Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
