i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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