I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize