apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
