You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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