Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
