You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You dont lie about slip and slides
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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