omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
