I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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