Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize