Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
