you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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