Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
