everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
