ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize