Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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