i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
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last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
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We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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