ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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