Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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