I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize