i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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