I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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