you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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