After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
