# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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