If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
