Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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