It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
