Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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