you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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