It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
